Courage To Change The Things We Can
By Angie Lewis
God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the
difference.
This is a very powerful statement and very good principles to
live our life by, even if we don’t have a drinking problem.
There are many things in our life, marriage, and our
relationships that we would like to change, and we spend
countless hours, and spend great amounts of energy trying to
control and change people and circumstances.
Why are we doing this? Why can’t we just accept people for who
they are and accept circumstances and outcomes how they happen?
Why must we continually try and control what is obviously out of
our power to change? Perhaps we aren’t asking God to help us
with accepting some of the people we have relationships with.
Maybe we have not put our faith in God to just let him control
the outcome of circumstances. God grant us the serenity to
accept the things we cannot change.
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and
lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge
him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Perhaps we think we can control and manipulate our spouse, boss,
friends and family. Maybe we think we can change them to be the
people we think they should be for us. But all this does is
cause strife and contention with the people were supposed to be
loving and respecting. Have we prayed for God to give us the
serenity to accept our spouse just the way he or she is? Or are
we still leaning on our own understanding and wisdom?
Let’s ask God to give us the courage to change the things we can
and accept people for who they are. Wouldn’t that be better?
What are some of the things that we can change? We can change
ourselves, and we can work at changing the outcomes of
circumstances that we initiated. Anything else would be
controlling, manipulating and abusing people to be what we think
they should be.
Let’s pray for the courage to change what we can about
ourselves; focus on changing the consequences of our actions by
the spirit of courage given to us by God. All we have to do is
ask. If we truly want to accept the things we cannot change we
first must be willing to give up the control if it. We must
acknowledge our Lord and place our faith in His promise for us
and then we will be given the courage to change ourselves.
I thought, “Age should speak; advanced years
should teach wisdom.” But it is the spirit in a person, the
breath of the Almighty that gives them understanding.
Job 32: 7-8
Where does wisdom come from? Do you think wisdom is something we
gain through the years or something we learn by just reading
scripture? God says wisdom comes from the spirit within us. The
Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ gives us the wisdom and
understanding to know the difference between what we can change
and what we cannot change. We can read about wisdom but it is a
gift from God given to those who put their faith and trust in
Him. God gives us the wisdom to know the difference. Can I
change my alcoholic spouse and control their drinking habits?
Can I make my adult child be a doctor instead of an accountant?
Can I make my friends do what I want? We can try to control and
change people in this way, but what is the use if it causes
contention, bitterness and strife between us? That is not of
God. These are the things we cannot change.
And we know that in all things God works for
the good of those who love him, who have been called according
to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
We must learn to acknowledge the things we cannot change so we
can be free to love without control. For instance, we cannot
make our alcoholic spouse stop drinking but we can change how we
react to the alcoholic when they are drinking. We don’t have to
enable him or her any longer; we can have the courage to change
our behavior towards them. We cannot make our friends do
whatever we want because that would be selfish and wrong. But we
can ask God for the courage to change our feelings about the
things we do with our friends.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and
courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the
Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9
