The Central Fact
By Lisa Holloway
When a friend and I talk about religion about Jesus I get so
angry, scared and upset. If only I could make him understand. In
all honesty, I'm nearly as angry at myself in those moments when
he won't hear and is so busy being "wise" that his heart won't
open to a truth deeper than easily verifiable fact.
I'm not asking him to be deliberately stupid; God gave us these
wonderful minds to develop and use. I find it amazing that we're
living in a time in which we know enough about the way minds
develop and the effects of different activities on those minds
that, to a certain extent, we can physically shape our own minds
and encourage or discourage different types of neural
connections.
The capacity God put within us is amazing . . . but what our
minds can grasp is still limited. We cannot fully comprehend the
infinite, nor are we asked to. God wants us to know truth and to
be set free by it, which requires searching through our deepest
fears, studying Biblical passages we don't fully get, hearing
and evaluating Godly messages we receive from other human
beings, relying on a faith that may still be in its infancy, and
through conversations with The Big Guy full of questions to
which we may not immediately receive an answer. That is,
assuming we're not too busy talking to listen anyway, or
terribly insistent that the answer come as an incontrovertible
etching on stone tablets or a voice from a burning bush . . .
which is what I expect my friend is waiting for, in a sense.
It is a frightening thing, giving up that imaginary control
we're so fond of that futile grasp on mastering the universe to
which we cling down to the last, slippery finger on the edge
rather than admit our smallness and need.
There is in him a questioning, a searching . . . a cynicism and
inability to conceive that a man could have literally been the
son of God or why it would have been necessary at all. We
somehow skirt around the humanistic pipe dream of a touchy-feely
loving God who would never "send someone to hell" if hell even
exists forgetting that one of the great gifts God gave us is
that of free will. Great because God knew a belief based on fear
or intimidation is inauthentic at worst, immature at best. Great
because God loved us enough to set us free to choose our own
fate and accept the fact of his love and salvation or not.
Still, I can't help thinking that if I could just say things
right somehow, I could help him dismantle the skepticism he
clings to. Instead of believing the lies of the "rational" mind
that he and many of his friends have embraced, he would know the
truth and be set free.
But I'm so afraid he won't, that the defenses he's built around
this area of his mind and heart are too thick and prickly, too
icy sure of nothing, for any little flame I might offer to
penetrate. My prayers are too weak and small, and I'm too
distracted by the clutter of life. I lose my way over and over,
and can't help him find his because I'm so bad with directions
myself.
These are the things I tell myself, ready to accept that I
cannot change the world or even this wonderful man next to me.
My fears are ready to override the love that would throw him a
lifeline anyway, even if he's annoyed by the suggestion that he
can't swim the ocean by himself.
Strength in Insecurity
Then again, perhaps in some far-off realm of possibility that's
what he needs to see the doubts and mistakes and the underlying
insecurity . . . the sincerity to fight against the sincerely
mistaken theology of the angry and the "wise."
I don't understand everything. I have to admit that and start
from a place of honesty in order to provide a light, even if
that opens up my witness to criticisms I don't know how to ward
off and may not know the answers to. We know that in faith, God
provides the words we need, but sometimes nervous people (like
me) have trouble letting go of insecurities enough to hear the
voice of God. What is important is to take that step in faith
anyway. Love must be stronger than fear, for "there is no fear
in love."*
Each step must be grounded in truth; lies to cover flaws and
weaknesses only allow the structure to be more and more unsound
as it rises to the sky. Eventually, my faults will be known and,
unless I intend a tangled frame of lies instead of something
that eventually glorifies God, I must remove them all. At least
if they are exposed, they can be repaired and the structure will
be sound . . . even if it appears to grow more slowly.
I have my doubts and confusions. I have questions within my
belief that I am still, years later, working through. That
doesn't make the basic premise of Christianity untrue. Those are
fringe issues to be dealt with that shouldn't distract (or be
allowed to distract) from the basic fact of sacrificial
salvation and redemption that we all need.
The Basic Facts
Someone was born on earth who taught us the right way to live a
way in which love, giving, and perfection, however impossible
that may be, are requirements; a way in which money is not evil
unless it comes between a human soul and God; a way in which we
are to desire God's will and plan above our own, even if it
costs us everything.
It is not the way we would naturally go, which is why it always
surprises me when nonbelievers accuse Christians of wishful
thinking. Frankly, if I were going to wish a religion into
existence, I'd concentrate my wishing on something a little more
comfortable I'd lighten up on the cost to me . . . which is what
too many people make of God and then define as their own
reality.
This Someone wasn't wishy-washy. There were times he said things
that were insulting or that flew in the face of tradition. I
don't believe his primary goal was to offend far from it but
speaking truth was far more important than stroking egos or
promoting a feel-good religion.
This Someone both served the people, in teaching and practical
matters like healing and the unglorified menial task of
foot-washing. He also spent time alone in order to better know
God and be able to hear a voice that is hard to find in the
midst of a noisy crowd. It is important to rest and refresh in
order to better serve. Even so, it is vital to remember that
much of his mission on earth involved servicemuch of it with
society's rejectsnot solitude.
Finally, Someone claimed to be the Son of God a boldly
unprovable and offensive claim in many people's eyes and stuck
to that story through horrible, flesh-tearing beatings and
execution. He was willing to suffer and die on the cross for all
of us, hanging there vulnerable to the derision of the crowd,
many of whom would never believe or appreciate the sacrifice and
his reasons for doing it.
It was necessary in some sense beyond my comprehension. We could
not overcome our own sins. One of the defining laws of creation
was that sin brings death as a natural result. We can't get past
that; it is a roadblock in our "walk toward the light." No
matter how good we try to be, we mess up. Only one without sin
may consciously take on the sins of another and pay the penalty
in his place.
It is scary to depend on something outside ourselves, Someone
largely unknown and unknowable by the independently verifiable
criteria of which we're so fond especially when we've been
taught that science is the reality of unblemished facts (it's
not entirely) or that we have only to "look within." But where
does that get us? Into circular reasoning of humanistic thinking
or, what I would argue is the height of wishful thinking: that
as long as we have good intentions we'll live on in eternal joy
after death in whatever form we believe it happens.
Who's to say we really have good intentions anyway? Don't we
mainly mean in those cases that we want an excuse to go on
living exactly as we please, with no consequences (which is even
anti-physics, if you're into science), and that sometimes we'll
be nice to people we like? There's nothing special or
revelational in that, not even the stuff of truth hard or
otherwise. It is only "wishful thinking" from people who hate
the idea that if they really believe in Jesus, they'll have to
change the way they live and how dare anyone suggest their way
isn't good enough? Jesus wasn't kidding when he said people
would find him offensive!
Finding Focus and Living the Part
Our Someone does require that life change. He suffered, died . .
. and rose again, so that we could escape punishment beyond our
bearing and be given truth, light, love and forgiveness we could
not deserve instead. Someone forgives completely and without
question or marking out gradations of sin severity but he then
has the gall to suggest that in genuine repentance, we turn from
our sin action following along the path of faith. "Show me your
faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do."
**
He demands that we change and take on his character and his way
of doing things, although these characteristics will be
expressed a little differently from person to person because of
the uniqueness with which he has gifted us a uniqueness that
makes each of us just right for the purposes we're on Earth to
accomplish. He demands that we forgive those who wrong us over
and over again even if they're never sorry like he did. He
demands that we make knowing him and living the life he has set
out for us more important than money and possessions, more
important even than our precious families, who are gifts in and
of themselves.
The details of Christianity, such as mode of communion,
confession, baptism, specific types of dress, women's work in
the church these are all highly important questions for which we
have a responsibility to search out the rightness with reverence
and humility; they are not the central fact.
The central fact is the Someone who lived and died and even rose
from the dead to save from punishment and death those who are
willing to reach out for the gift, open it, and claim it for
themselves. It is a gift offered to everyone by our Someone
Jesus Christ.
* I John 4:18a NIV
** James 2:18b NIV
Lisa Holloway is a Christian and family writer, personal
historian, and proofreader.
She has served with the U.S. Navy
and USAID/OFDA, and has conducted anthropological research in
India.
She recently wrote four stories for the compilation "Can
My Marriage Be Saved?"
http://www.NewHorizonWriting.com
