What Does “Going Out On A Date” Mean?

By Angie Lewis

The word “date” generally implies romantic and sexual intent. To “go out on a date” for the Christian can be risky business, if they want to remain pure until marriage. In fact, Christian “dating” is a misnomer because the word “dating” is a societal behavior that allows for intimacy and sexual temptations to happen.

In Fact, the word “date” is not defined in the Noah Webster’s 1828 Dictionary because there was no such behavior! It was absolutely unheard of for a woman to be seen with a man alone. “Gentlemen callers” visited young single women and there was always a family member present for these social times. Only during the courtship (engagement/betrothal) period were they ever allowed to be alone together.

What’s happened? How has the wholesomeness of courtship turned into dating? The culture has slowly given way to God’s principled actions of love for the need to feel a certain way through the dating ritual. The practice of dating is worthless, it does not teach principles nor teach how to respect and honor one another in the preparation for marriage.

Flee (run for your life) from sexual immorality.
1 Corinthians 6:18

It is not God’s will that single people have sexual relations before marriage. God’s will is for young people to save themselves for marriage because it is acceptable and right. The reason is simple – for the happiness and sanctity of the marriage union! Dating almost always generates emotional and sexual abuse in the long run – it can literally wreck havoc on a young persons emotions and cause them to mistrust the opposite sex, and feel devalued as a child of God. In fact, dating does not prepare anyone for marriage – it actually deflates and devalues marriage. Why do you think there are so many divorces? Couples aren’t prepared for marriage - they are dating when they are married. That’s why.

The process of dating goes something like this:
1. Sex
2. Euphoria / Desire
3. Mixed feelings
4. Euphoric / Desire diminishing
5. Want out of relationship (what relationship?)
6. Hurt one another psychologically and emotionally, not to mention physically
7. Relationship ends
8. New partner
9. Dating (sexual lust and desire) cycle starts all over

After several partners in the process of dating, do you think you would be ready for a long-term marriage relationship? This is precisely why God wants us to “flee” from sexual immorality! Flee from “going out on a date”! Run for your life before it is too late.

Dating unprepares young people for marriage – it really does! Marriage depends on commitment for its sustenance – without it, the marriage will ultimately fail. Marriage depends on two emotionally mature individuals who care about each other’s needs through the principled acts of love. How does dating prepare anyone for marriage?

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified; that you should avoid sexual immorality.
1 Thessalonians 4:3

So what can the Christian single person do that wants to find a spouse for marriage? They can wait on God. I encourage single people to pray for that special someone to come into their life? God cares deeply about your personal relationships and He will answer your prayers in a way that you may not be aware of. Don’t “go out on a date” like everyone else – be friends and get to know each other, always having family and friends with you so you do not get tempted. Court one another through learning about God’s principled actions of love. Base your love on those principles and not on feelings.

God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
1 Corinthians 10:13

God will bless every single person with a perspective soul mate when the time is right – We can’t rush God because marriage and the relationship leading up to it is His business. Be patient and thankful, for God knows when you are really ready to commit to marriage.

God’s purpose for Christians is to walk into marriage with wisdom, love, and commitment for the marriage, not with emotional baggage from the past, but with respect and honor for the person you marry. God designed marriage to be a lifetime commitment and it should be valued with the sanctity and purity that it deserves.

Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
2 Timothy 2:22

Your marriage deserves it.