Having A Good Relationship With Our Children
By Angie Lewis
I believe to have a good relationship with our children we must
be parents that show by example. What are we showing our
children? Do we talk a lot and not do what we say ourselves?
Parents have duties and responsibilities just like children have
duties and responsibilities. It’s a fact that if we shuck our
responsibilities we will pay for it with rebellious children and
a “not so very good” relationship with them.
Do Not Exasperate
Scriptures tells fathers not to exasperate their children but to
bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (NIV
Ephesians 6:4) What do you think that means? First lets take a
look at what the KJV bible says:
“And ye fathers, provoke not your children
to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the
Lord.
KJV Ephesians 6:4
Now, what do you
think that means?
How would a father exasperate his children? I think he would
confuse and frustrate his children by saying one thing and doing
another. The point of this scripture is for a Christian father
to understand that disciplining of his children should be done
through the Lord. A father must allow God to come first in his
own life before he can discipline his children properly. In
other words without God’s instruction in a fathers life, he may
provoke his son to have anger in him because of his mistaken
discipline that comes from self.
It makes sense then, that the only way a father could discipline
his son in the Lord is if the father had faith in the Lord’s
discipline in the first place. A good disciplinary is a father
who has faith that God knows best. You show your own faith to
your son through your faith in the Lord. Bring them up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Get Involved
Children start out in life looking up to their parents because
parents are all they have – the parent’s example is all they
see. Are we patient and considerate of the things they enjoy in
life? Do we involve ourselves in their activities, interests and
hobbies? Did you know that your relationship with your children
when they are young will make a difference in your relationship
with them when they are older?
Jesus said,
I have set you as an example that you should
do as I have done for you.
John 13:15
Walk The Message
Live your own life from what you have learned in the Lord.
Nothing is more valuable than the wisdom God has blessed us
with. We know the difference between a parent who applies godly
wisdom and instruction to circumstances in their child’s life
and the parent who does not. Which parent are you? Are you
walking the message or are you only hearing the message through
church service on Sunday? We should encourage our children to
seek the Lord’s wisdom at all times and in all things.
Fix these words of mind in your hearts and minds, tie them as
symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach
them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home
and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you
get up.
Deuteronomy 11:18,19
Do Not Have High Expectations
Some parents have too high of expectations for their children to
succeed in this life. They want their children to achieve things
that they themselves never had. But this kind of thinking is
showing to your children that achievements, money, and status
are more important to you than the child. It also puts them
under a tremendous pressure to prove something they possibly
cannot do. Ouch!
Parents must allow their children to succeed according to the
God-given talents and gifts the Lord has blessed them with. In
this world success may be measured in money, status, and
achievements, but in God’s world, success is measured in
happiness, faith, forgiveness, and love in the Lord Jesus
Christ. If a person has happiness and understands how to forgive
others than they have been blessed with wisdom and much gifts.
Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but
set an example for believers in speech, in life, in love, in
faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public
reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not
neglect your gift.
1 Timothy 4:12-14
Build Them Up In The Lord
Teenagers with low self-esteems have been given this self worth
from somewhere – it does not come about on its own, it is
created by environment and what they have been taught over the
years. Adam and Eve did not have to prove their worth to anyone.
But this upside down culture has young people running around in
circles trying to prove their value and worth to society. Where
is this all coming from? No amount of money, status or
achievements can give us a real sense of worthiness like the
value and love we have in the Lord Jesus Christ.
For we are God’s workmanship, created in
Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for
us to do.
Ephesians 2:10
